Monday 1 October 2012

Birds of a Feather by Susan L.

In Art Therapy last Thursday I wanted to draw the monster that anxiety feels like. History has shown when things are put on paper, either art or writing, they are just a bit more manageable. It's like putting a face to a name and for me, the opportunity to open my heart in prayer and seek the Lord's take on what's going on. After several frustrated starts what ended up coming out was a black and white image of starlings gathering along telephone wires. A far cry from the fanged ghoul I tried to draw. As the image took shape under my brush I didn't understand what it was all about. God is so patient with us. Anxiety is like the starlings gathering together. Some rest on the wires, others swoop and swarm in black masses. They are in a constant state of flux. Even a single bird's wings speak to the flutter in my chest when it's really bad. I made the decision that night to increase my anti-anxiety meds having discussed this option with my doctor. The problem is all psychiatric medications take 3-8 weeks before the full effect can be felt. The reverse is true when cutting back as well. It's hard having to go back up when I hoped I was well enough to handle things. The starlings are also swirls of dissappointment too. And there's the lesson. Even I feel different about meds taken for mental health. We have a long way to go to eradicate this pile of nonsense. "Let,I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to Your word to Your servant. " Ps 119:76

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