The Easy Road by Susan L.

It is okay to talk about our past. It is life that helps shape our identity. The setting aside the old man means we can live and grow to become the beautiful people God planned from the dawn of time. Pointing fingers, laying blame on others for our circumstances is the easy road. Staying angry is easy, too easy sometimes. Allowing bitterness to taint our hearts is easy. Living as perpetual victims, a martyr, is the easy road. Letting go is hard. Letting in is harder. One of the ladies at my writer's group discussed intimacy: Into-Me-You-See, she quoted. How true! Vulnerability is intertwined with that like a DNA strand. Without allowing our hearts to take a gamble on being vulnerable, there can be no deep and meaningful connections to God and our fellow man. It's that child thing Jesus talks about. Maybe I have it backwards. Letting in comes first. Only then do we, did I, have the ability to let go or even enter into the long kept secret hurts of my soul. All these incidents, these secrets, made me sick, emotionally, physically and spititually. It was all wrapped in what are matters of the heart. An organ God is most concerned about. A short paragraph belies the effort and time it took. It minimizes how many locked rooms had to be opened. Trust was slow to grow but began privately with God and my pen. Being vulnerable was the most frightening thing of all. Eventually the Lord brought people into my life one at a time who I dared to trust and could practise on. My wounds made me cautious but God also helped me discern who would honour that risk. We buy lottery tickets. We cross a street. We get behind the wheel of our cars. Gambling is in our nature. So is risk taking. Taking the risk to let go offers a far greater reward. It starts by wanting to be free. Just so you know. Jesus is already there waiting for us to find Him. "Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midstand said, "Peace to you!" Jn 20:26