Tuesday 19 March 2013

Attachment Anxiety by Susan L.

Yesterday's appointment with my psychiatrist saw us discussing what happened Sunday. We also touched on life's big questions: faith, purpose, hope, and the like. It was a meat and potatoes conversation and I left feeling peaceful and full. My good doctor told me about Attachment Anxiety. Light bulbs flashed, pieces clicked in to place. I like having a name for how I feel. For starters, it means I am not alone. Secondly, I can research such things and learn more. For me, a diagnosis is a healing tool, a place to start. Understandably, given my history,what this amounts to is a fear of getting close to people.Although, at this point in my recovery it is more of a cautious approach when I meet new people. Wary, even. It explains my dislike of crowds. It explains my shyness and discomfort. The racing heart, the adrenaline of flight mode that courses through my body when I am surrounded by a crowd. It explains a whole lot of everything. Understanding births wisdom. There is a flip side to this anxiety, a 'normal' side. Therefore there is a hope of recovery. Just don't rush me. "You enlarged my path under me so my feet did not slip." Ps 18:36

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