Last week on Global News there was an item about overcoming depression. I forget the name of the doctor or organisation that was doing a study about how people think. They talked about rewiring the brain of a person living with depression or bi-polar disorder by having them think positive thoughts. In some cases there was success and they were extremely excited about these findings.
I couldn't figure out why this bothered me so much until this morning. I hear echoes of well meaning people, "It's in your head. Snap out of it. Think happy thoughts." The dreaded, "Others have it worse. What have you got to be depressed about?" The blame for feeling depressed is once again laid squarely on the shoulders of the person who is struggling. More often than not that person has absolutely no say in the matter for feeling the way they do.
We've been blamed long enough. It isn't a choice. It develops because of many things none of us have any control over: genetics, life experiences such as trauma, hormones as in the baby blues, upbringing and so on. To blame thoughts is to negate all these other influences. I'm not blaming anyone or any thing in particular. That makes me just as bad as those who have blamed me for my illness. One of them was a psychiatric doctor no less who told me I need to "think about what I am thinking about." His words were like a whip to my soul.
His generous contempt paralysed me for months. Afraid to think, afraid not to think.
How could I not think when flashbacks erupt all on their own? How can healing take place if I don't think about the situations which have impacted my health and wellness? Tough as it is, my choice was to submerge myself in the memories of trauma and work my way through them. (Yes, I had help in this process, a lot of help.) I had to find God in those terrible events because I could no longer live with the memories locked away. It was too exhausting to "put on a happy face".
If I had listened to this doctor, Lord knows where I would be. This was an opportunity to break free of the "Doctor knows best" ideology rampant in our society. He did not know what was best at all.
Yes, I am still angry about the whole situation but at the same time, thankful. I learned a lot from that experience. Because of this doctor, I took control of my own recovery and learned to stand up for what I knew I needed.
"Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me." Mic 7:8
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Boundary Study Part 2
"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy...
I think the point in "rewiring the brain" is to make new associations from the same old memories. But how do we train our brains to not go down the same pathways? Perhaps this is what was meant by "think happy thoughts", but that may oversimplify the process. Whatever the method, the fact that it is possible to change the way our brains operate brings real hope!
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