Saturday 10 May 2014

Body Image by Susan L.

  Most of the groups I attended started their session with a meditation exercise of some form or another. One man used a brass singing bowl, another had us tapping our various body parts and saying hello to them. (I found that a bit weird.) The one that revealed some surprising results was a relaxation Yoga exercise where we were to focus on our bodies starting at our heads. The presenter softly spoke the instructions body part by body part to help us become aware of our physical  presence.
  When he got to our feet, he asked us to imagine something nice to surround them with: grass, water, whatever. I imagined Jesus washing my feet. There is nothing of this earth that was better. Tears came to my eyes at the tenderness of His touch. As the presenter took us back up the body to our head, I imagined Jesus embracing each piece of me.
  I was taken aback by how much dislike of my own body emerged; how I didn't feel it measured up. It is the world's scale, not God's, that much I realise. I am not fishing for compliments. Something else that showed up was how hard it is to accept someone saying something good about me. It makes me suspicious and leaves me wondering about ulterior motives. Lord, I choose to forgive those who have hurt me so badly, the bullies, the men, my ex and the women, too. Forgive me for having dished out my own hurtful words, intentional or unintentional.
  My back was in raw, anxiety driven knots. So much so it hurt to touch it. (Wednesday night required pain killers in order to sleep. I had needed a just-in-case-of-emergency pill to ease the stress during the first day.)  As I "felt" Jesus touch my back I realised just how afraid I am all the time.
  Of everything.
  Lord, let this be a celebration of faith. It is You Who sustains me. It is You who enables me. It is You who supports me. It's all You.
  "That you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." Eph 4:22-24

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