Wednesday 18 June 2014

Tweaking by Susan L.

  Had a good visit with my psychiatrist. We decided to do some adjusting of the medications I am currently using starting with my anti-depressant. It's a huge relief there's room to work within what has proven safe for me to take, that a complete change will hopefully be unnecessary. I left his office feeling much better. I pray the slight increase in the dose will work but should know in a week or so.
  He told me to email him an update at that time. In the meantime I have the lemon verbena tea and my JICOE (Just in case of emergency) pills should the need arise.
  He also reminded me that I was doing okay in April. It's easy to forget being well when you're not doing so well. It does feel like a lifetime ago. It's been a long six weeks.
  A few years ago I was sitting out on my little front porch enjoying a particularly beautiful summer's evening. There was something strange in how I felt, sitting there. It took a few moments to identify what that was. I felt content. It only lasted a few minutes before disappearing as the light vanished from the day.
  That wonderful feeling has popped up here and there since then. It is rare, though.
  I guess, in this day and age and even without mental health struggles, it's an illusive emotion. It's difficult to simply rest in the moment when a chore list, a grocery list a gazillion miles long waits on the kitchen table. The demands of family, work and whatever else fills the day robs us of the opportunity to simply rest in the enjoyment of doing nothing.
  In the mean time, there's a lot to do to get ready for a three day weekend of camping. I'm looking forward to it. My hope is to do a fair bit of drawing, inspired by the rock strewn beaches of Lake Simcoe. It will be good to get away, to gain some perspective on all that has been going on lately.
  "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it." Lk 17:33
 

4 comments:

  1. Ah - contentment. It is something that we have to learn (Phil. 4:11). Learn. It doesn't come naturally! I believe we learn by trusting God. We trust He has our best on His heart when things are going well for us, or when things are not. In the light and in the dark. If we totally embrace His sovereignty, that He is always in control, then we can learn to be content in all circumstances. It is such a challenge for me. Glad your visit was good with the doc. Hope makes the heart glad!!!

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  3. Apologies, I have no idea how the comments came up twice!!! Not important enough to be repeated twice...ha ha.

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  4. You are so insightful. Knowing and living that knowledge is challenging indeed! As for the duplication, no problem. Technology sometimes seems to have a mind of its own!

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"For it was I, the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.&qu...