Ups 'N Downs by Susan L.

  Things had begun to get a little wonky. I was having a hard time falling asleep, then woke up early. The angry bees of anxiety were starting to swarm around my brain. Noises were starting to bother me a lot. I couldn't sit still. Irritable and cranky moved in. These are all warning signs that things are not quite right but there didn't seem to be any reason for it.
  One of my medications is in two bottles to make up the accurate dose. The smaller dose is the one I've been breaking up in order to slowly wean myself off. I'd accidentally filled that half of the prescription even though it wasn't needed. The bottle sat in the cupboard behind my other meds.
  For well over a week, it was this smaller dose being taken with the broken up bit; a fraction of what I was supposed to be taking. It's a good thing this mistake was noticed when it was. After two days of my regular dose, minus the broken up bit, I am feeling much better.
  It seems advantageous to take this opportunity to do another small reduction since it had already started to work its way out of my system. Now it's a matter of waiting to see if there are any noticeable issues.
  Too much, too fast is a dangerous way to work with mental meds. To have continued with such a drastic reduction would be like playing with a loaded gun. I am glad the mistake was noticed when it was because sleep has returned and has lasted a decent amount of time. (At least until Pumpkin came in demanding breakfast!) It makes a whole world of difference in everything.
  There seems to be a bit of a war going on regarding medications and mental health. It's tricky to find what works and an extremely difficult process to go through. Side effects can even include suicidal ideology! (Been there.) Often multiple meds are being taken to offset the side effects of the other.
  I just had a small taste of how much good they do for me and am extremely grateful to have them. It was a difficult journey finding what suited my unique chemistry. Doctors still don't know why one works for one person but not another.
  Medications aren't the complete answer. The medical system is beginning to understand that. There's many who live with mental health challenges choosing to go medication free, relying on a natural, holistic approach.
  It should be a matter of choice not an arbitrary decision made for us.
  "Grace be to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Cor 1:2