It was a brief visit but filled with awe and wonder. My newest grand-daughter is lovely. I'd forgotten how small a new born babe is. Her head nestled into the crook of my elbow while my hand cradled her little bottom. She slept the whole time I was there making little baby noises and scrunching up her face.
Memories of motherhood.
It brought me back to the moment I found out I was expecting. I was in my early twenties, in a committed relationship, but there was no ring on my finger. The doctor shocked me by his first statement.
"We can take care of this for you."
I gasped and wrapped my arms around my belly, protecting the new life inside me. I don't remember much else about that life changing appointment except wanting to get away from the man who gave me death as a first option.
This yet unborn son helped me solidify my future. It wasn't only about being in a relationship with his father but being a mom to his two children as well.
His father did make an "honest woman" out of me.
When we chose the engagement ring, I had two small diamonds installed on either side of the larger centre stone. One for each of the children I embraced as a son and a daughter.
Are there things I would change? Of course. Still, I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time. Tools that were woefully inadequate.
Lord, even though I didn't know You personally at the time, You helped me make the choice of life. For that I am grateful. It makes this newest addition to the family even more precious.
"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; for behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed. For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name." Lk 1:46-49
The Black River is a journey in faith. It delves into an exploration of life: from the calm, clear waters of the good days, the mundane, to the swirling eddies and deep waters of issues that face every one of us. Thank you for visiting this site. You can contact me personally at: godandtheblackriver@gmail.com
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