"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." NKJV
"Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me before the world began!" JCB
Verse 25-26 goes on to say, "O righteous Father, the world doesn't know you, but I do; and these disciples know you sent me. I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them." JCB
There's a one-and-a-half inch pile of paper left from over three thousand, hand written pages. They were journal entries saved from destruction because they are mostly creative writing efforts. It had been a three inch stack but I went through it again yesterday, weaning out anything that wasn't worth keeping.
In this pile was a timeline I'd tried countless times to assemble by going through the journals and making note of what happened and when. It always ended up fizzling. I know why I did it. The journals were a written record of when my mind wasn't present, the lost days on the Black River I call them.
I decided to shred what bit of it I'd managed to note down because they held an edge of desperation. Which is rather funny in an odd sort of way. Why I felt I so urgently needed to find the days and hours that vanished into the mists is beyond me. This morning has me realizing there's a lot I don't remember from when I was well. Praise God!
Looking at this remaining pile, and feeling burdened by all the words they contain, ninety-five percent will end up falling prey to the sharp teeth of the shredder. I really don't need to keep it as a souvenir. I don't want to keep it as a souvenir. How can an earthly timeline even compare to the eternal timeline of God?
It's a process, this act of closure. It's also a celebration. As my son commented to me, "You're making confetti!"
The only timeline that matters now isn't even a line. It's this moment. It's this present minute, second, millisecond. It's living in and through this promise that the love, the glory, of God is wrapped around every fibre of my being through Jesus Christ my Lord.
Amen!
The Black River is a journey in faith. It delves into an exploration of life: from the calm, clear waters of the good days, the mundane, to the swirling eddies and deep waters of issues that face every one of us. Thank you for visiting this site. You can contact me personally at: godandtheblackriver@gmail.com
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